"i should be the one behind the wheel"

yer teh lav of mai laif

drowning drowning drowning - stops.

taking a deep breath ... to the top ... comin' to break you off ...

staring at the window, looking at something, seeing nothing, just watching. numb. feeling that you're the so called very nobody, the one who doesn't matter to anyone.

staring with eyes closed, feeling the nonexistent warmth, expecting that it'll come, he'll come.

believing that change will happen, yeah sometimes it will... pitiful.

wish that i had something to grab, to hold, to believe in. to support me, to rely on. just.... something that is constant, that can be actually trusted. no questions will ever appear.

silent trust, that's what i need. it sound so nice, so right. unreal.

feeling this one day, and feeling that the other. crying out loud.

doors closed, folks.

happiness is kinda hard-to-believe, coz when it happens, it's so fuckin' unreal, incredible and almost cannot be seen / felt and impossible to describe. then it disappears in a minute and pain comes back. bites your flesh, aches in your brain. and kills your heart with all of your feelings.

yeah, that's why i'm numb almost all the time.

things fall apart

what.goes.up

must.go.down

talan csak az en alaptermeszetem lett az evek folyaman jol lehuzva, avagy ez a normalis. az oromerzet durva mod temporalis jellegu, es a standard konnybelabados hangulat konyortelenul ujra lecsap. meg eszbe kapni sincs igazan ido. itt van ujra, itt.

elfekudtem a hajam, elfekudtem az eletem is. ilyen benan all minden, es nem nagyon latom a kiskapukat, melyek kifele vezetnek.

people think that i'm crazy, just 'cause i wanna be alone

you can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze

we all deal with shit on our own

and sometimes the beef can grow, get out of hand

yeah, you know it gets full blown

i never said that you mean the world to me

maybe it's best that you never know

expressed (rmx)

es akkor igy megyek reggel a buza uti zebran at, elottem egy gyalogos. jobbrol gurul felenk egy fekete merci, kotelezo eleme a volan mogott ulo bordzsekis egyed, aki _hajlando_ a fekre helyezni labat, amikor meglatja az aszfaltot cipojukon at szinte kozvetlenul erzekelo jardapartiakat. node.

az elottem levot siman elengedi, mert igazabol nem is volt neki utban, de ahhoz, hogy en elferjek, mar _meg kellett volna allnia_. nem tette. tovabb szemlelhettem a kocsi lassulasanak folyamatat, de valtozast nem tapasztaltam, igy en alltam meg, szinte tiz centire a lokharitotol. hatraleptem, szuros tekintetem a soforre szegeztem, aki vegul kenytelen volt megallni. persze ekkor mar a zebra teljes egeszet elfoglalta. kezem kivettem zsebembol, es kerdon neztem ra, mikozben attipegtem a kocsi elott.

es meg en ne legyek felhaborodva. szeretem, mikor a masnapos kora reggelem soran felbasszak az agyam. nemokos.

mult heten volt szerencsem, azaz ezt nem annak neveznem, de lenyeg, hogy megtapasztalhattam, milyen egy gyereket tanarkent lebaszni - ugy igazan. azt hittem, hogy akkor ennek a diaknak lottek, de nem. ma jott ujra orara, es minden okay. ujra lehet vele dolgozni, hasznalt a fejmosas. hurrasag.

watch out - let me out, gooo

all i want is nothing

yeah, it's true, i'm under oppression. it's getting tinier and tinier while time flies away. but it's still here. i do want it to go away but it's not that easy. hell what, fuck it.

blind blind blind

and of course, angry angry angry. with myself, with others, with all this fucking world and those lames in it. blah and grrrzz.

zahm zahm zahm dai dai dai.

skillz: low / expert?

"minden nap a csalodottsagerzet egy uj oldalat hozza felszinre."

mintha nem lenne ugyanmindegy.

ha csalodott vagy, akkor csalodott vagy, es pont.

dizopointid ket iz...
dizopointid ket.

west

majdnem elfelejtettem milyen jo husz perc alatt tiz kilometert letekerni.

ertem/hallom?

ki igy teker, ki ugy. ki ezt, ki azt.