drowning drowning drowning - stops.
taking a deep breath ... to the top ... comin' to break you off ...
staring at the window, looking at something, seeing nothing, just watching. numb. feeling that you're the so called very nobody, the one who doesn't matter to anyone.
staring with eyes closed, feeling the nonexistent warmth, expecting that it'll come, he'll come.
believing that change will happen, yeah sometimes it will... pitiful.
wish that i had something to grab, to hold, to believe in. to support me, to rely on. just.... something that is constant, that can be actually trusted. no questions will ever appear.
silent trust, that's what i need. it sound so nice, so right. unreal.
feeling this one day, and feeling that the other. crying out loud.
doors closed, folks.
happiness is kinda hard-to-believe, coz when it happens, it's so fuckin' unreal, incredible and almost cannot be seen / felt and impossible to describe. then it disappears in a minute and pain comes back. bites your flesh, aches in your brain. and kills your heart with all of your feelings.
yeah, that's why i'm numb almost all the time.
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