azert ez igy najsz for a few minutes. ilyen kizokkentos, rajossz hogy milyen szar a kornyezeted, pedig jobb is lehetne fajta dolog. ajanlom minden olyannak, aki igaz baratom. akikbol keves van.
10/26/2006
fed.up
with those voices from downstairs coming to me... nearer and nearer.
with those sounds in my head from my heart. pictures, deeds, feelings ... it's always hard to pass them especially in the case when they don't feel the need to fade away. i feel this need but they don't care about me. they just come to my mind over and over again.
on the street walking to the bus stop at the starless night.
at the school he never entered.
on the bus when i saw those bored faces. when i felt that somebody was watching me ... from not more than half a meter... well, i needed his protect.
i needed HE. i need him still.
but it doesn't matter now. it's part of the past and we shouldn't change it. because...
sometimes i lose the reasons. the answer for the why.
does it make any sense? should it make any? who tells me? who KNOWS?
every day is the same coz i have to spend them without him.
same feelings. hatred, sadness, boredom, helplessness, inability, solitude, desolation.
nothing else.
with those sounds in my head from my heart. pictures, deeds, feelings ... it's always hard to pass them especially in the case when they don't feel the need to fade away. i feel this need but they don't care about me. they just come to my mind over and over again.
on the street walking to the bus stop at the starless night.
at the school he never entered.
on the bus when i saw those bored faces. when i felt that somebody was watching me ... from not more than half a meter... well, i needed his protect.
i needed HE. i need him still.
but it doesn't matter now. it's part of the past and we shouldn't change it. because...
sometimes i lose the reasons. the answer for the why.
does it make any sense? should it make any? who tells me? who KNOWS?
every day is the same coz i have to spend them without him.
same feelings. hatred, sadness, boredom, helplessness, inability, solitude, desolation.
nothing else.
10/18/2006
not a privilege
find yourself a back door...
az a sok közös dolog. azok. mindenek.
és lőn, nem vagyok boldog. meglepetéshalmaz e nyomor.
persze mindig mindent el kell baszni egyszer.
sínek fölött, aszfalton. felüljáró. igazából csak a zenének tudok örülni. no meg a barátdarabkáknak, amiket kapok. én sem vagyok egész, így nem is számíthatok teljességre semmiből sem.
on this page, you see a little girl giggling... i wonder whyidióta nőszemély a folyosón, és akkora vihogást enged el, hogy ösztönösen sietősre veszem a tempót. mindenhol csak az a kurva sok ember, és mindig ugyanaz az ismeretlen tömeg. azt szeretném a legjobban látni, akit nem lehet. mindig is ezt szerettem volna.
what if i was just dreaming... i forgot to remember my paincsak a csukott szemet belülről bámulni. ezt csinálni mindig. lüktetés a fülbe, némán. nem nézni a semmit az ablak másik oldalán.
wish you were here.....az a sok közös dolog. azok. mindenek.
és lőn, nem vagyok boldog. meglepetéshalmaz e nyomor.
persze mindig mindent el kell baszni egyszer.
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