past memories reminding me of their 'pastness' - always good to know that they are all gone and will never happen again.live for today or for the future, if you're brave enough. nor am i but maybe time will help.
night experience:
sitting on the stairs, waiting for the answer from mah darlin'... then he, the never-forgotten friendish never-friend appears. turning his back to me, not wanting to show himself to me. then, walking to the table, _our_ table, not his. he's there again, smilin'. hugs. all the rage and anger goin' away - the same ol' feelin' reappears, the world ceases for a moment which we live for. then the dialogue we've waited for so long begins, confessions take place and almost everything seems to be solved.
he still thinks that i'm his beautiful. i don't believe in it anymore but it's always good to hear. calming thought that somebody has such a nice opinion about me. disturbing that he still ... you know what? it doesn't matter now. not now.
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