like I'm the one to blame, you're innocent
I tried to make a way, make a difference
but some things don't change I can't complain
I tried not to think about you
What can I say every time I get near I want
that old thing back
7/17/2015
7/04/2015
#360
ain't it nice that i've reached exactly the 360th post... could be symbolic, referring to a full cycle. meaning that i am where i started.
rereading my posts helped me realize that i am still that miserable nobody who i used to be.
things and people never change.
you are and always will be, alone.
nobody really understands you, including your own self.
life is about a grand tour of meaningless survival.
there are times when you feel you're connected. to be honest, these are just dots in the line and the whole line is about suffering and struggling alone.
a minap meglattam egy pizsamaalsomon a feliratot, 'who loves ya?' es elbogtem magam. igazabol senki sem szeret engem csak azert, aki vagyok, van bennem boven kivetnivalo es fennakadasi pont, es ezt eleget is hallom. en magam sem szeretem magam. talan anyu volt az egyetlen, aki elfogadott 100% olyannak, amilyenne formalodtam... tole sosem ereztem az elvarast, a belekotest, a kovetelozest. mindenki mastol ezt erzem, es hogy oszinte legyek csomokat kot a hatam tetejere, amitol nem tudok aludni estenkent, amitol felriadok minden masodik oraban, amitol allandoan bognom kell, amitol egy ilyen nyomorult nyomorek leszek, akinek se onbizalma, se ontudata, se kiallasa.
"elmulik a vilag, es annak abrazatja" - remelem gyorsan.
rereading my posts helped me realize that i am still that miserable nobody who i used to be.
things and people never change.
you are and always will be, alone.
nobody really understands you, including your own self.
life is about a grand tour of meaningless survival.
there are times when you feel you're connected. to be honest, these are just dots in the line and the whole line is about suffering and struggling alone.
a minap meglattam egy pizsamaalsomon a feliratot, 'who loves ya?' es elbogtem magam. igazabol senki sem szeret engem csak azert, aki vagyok, van bennem boven kivetnivalo es fennakadasi pont, es ezt eleget is hallom. en magam sem szeretem magam. talan anyu volt az egyetlen, aki elfogadott 100% olyannak, amilyenne formalodtam... tole sosem ereztem az elvarast, a belekotest, a kovetelozest. mindenki mastol ezt erzem, es hogy oszinte legyek csomokat kot a hatam tetejere, amitol nem tudok aludni estenkent, amitol felriadok minden masodik oraban, amitol allandoan bognom kell, amitol egy ilyen nyomorult nyomorek leszek, akinek se onbizalma, se ontudata, se kiallasa.
"elmulik a vilag, es annak abrazatja" - remelem gyorsan.
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